Sunday, 2 March 2014

Headspace....being honest

Hey there,

I hope you have all had a fab weekend. I had a lovely weekend as I went to visit my gorgeous friend Bec. The weekend was ace and was made even better when as a surprise, she had arranged for another friend James to come too. We heard a knock on the door, which Bec answered and suddenly they were both there! Yay! We had fun swapping stories. We all used to work in bookshops and I am not joking, some of the stories you couldn't even make up! It was lovely.

I love travelling anywhere with Chris as it really gives us some good chatting time with no distractions and I shared a lot of my concerns with Chris about my eating.

So long story short, my eating has gone out of control. I am binge eating a lot and filling up on loooots of chocolates, cakes and sweet things. Do you want to know the sad thing? I don't even enjoy the food anymore. I am eating mindlessly and stuffing the nearest thing into my mouth when I am stressed or tired or happy or sad or indeed feeling any emotion at all! A lot of this is long term stuff which I deal with, but then every now and then rears it's head again. So last week I did a menu plan, with lots of 'healthy foods'. I started exercising which was great. But just did not fancy any of the food I had planned for myself.... And so ended up eating fish and chips and other takeaway goods......gaaaaagh!

One day, all I fancied for my lunch was a cup of coffee from Costa.... And so I went and bought a sandwich, packet of crisps, yogurt and a chocolate bar, none of which I was fancying. Again I say arrrrrgggghhhh.

I place a lot of stock on whether I think a food is healthy or not. So rather than really fancying a particular food, having it and enjoying it and then not fancying anymore, I will not have it because it does not fall into the healthy category. I eat a perceived healthy food, don't enjoy it, eat something else, beat myself up, eat something else and then beat myself up some more.

And so this week, I have decided to try and take a chill pill about food. I am going to reacquaint myself with Billy blanks Tae Bo DVDs. I have bought a new one of his called 'cardio inferno' it looks a toughie! But I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to doing it. I'll let you know how I get on!!!